Priti Patel’s Eyebrows

A Breakdown of Home Office Corruption

Adam De Salle

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Home Secretary Priti Patel (AP)

Did you know British Home Secretary Priti Patel has got her eyebrows done? Hardly seems newsworthy does it? Why is this headline news? Why am I even writing about it? Well, Patel’s eyebrows apparently cost more than yours, and she didn’t even pay for them, you did. Patel’s Home Office Procurement Card has…raised some eyebrows when it states as a Home Office expense £77,269.40 on eyebrows! That is £77k of taxpayer money on Patel’s brows…I fear the Home Secretary has been swindled, because her eyebrows do not look like they cost £77k. The list also stated that £30k was spent on a beauty supply company, £7,697.05 on restaurants and £2k on a dietary consultant(don’t forget, although she herself abstained, the Tory Government voted against feeding poor children during a pandemic), and £5k on Primark.

This is crazy, right? The Internet was set ablaze with memes and jokes about Patel’s extraordinarily expensive eyebrows, and in response, the Home Office’s Twitter Page had this to say:

Right, so the whole Home Office had a nice day out spending taxpayer money — I suppose the Home Secretary wanted to treat them all for ‘getting…

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Adam De Salle

I am a young writer interested in providing the intellectual tools to those in the political trenches so that they may fight their battles well-informed.